Beloved Enemy
by l'Ciel
Summary: finished AU: Set in Harry's 7th year, after OotP, but Sirius is still alive! The war against Voldemort continues, Severus gets cruel orders from his Master and Sirius is pregnant...SSSB, HPDMothers SLASH, mpreg. Check it out!
1. Punished for Life

Author: l'Ciel  
  
Pairing: SS/SB, mentioned: RW/HG,…  
  
Rating: R, for violence and sexual less explicit  
  
scenes  
  
AU: It takes place one year after the end of OotP  
  
(Harry's 7th year), but Sirius is still alive.  
  
Summary: Severus is ordered to rape Sirius and does  
  
so, while Riddle performs an impregnation-spell. Will  
  
they overcome their hatred for their baby-girl???  
  
Warning: Slash, mpreg., violence, rape (references to)  
  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to J. K. Rowling.  
  
01 Punished for Life  
  
The strangeness of awakening  
  
In an oh so silent world  
  
Breathlessly waiting  
  
For the first proud beams of light  
  
As the hours grow longer  
  
And the shadows never fall  
  
My sky has forsaken me  
  
My desperation grows  
  
Bring me the light  
  
In the darkness that never ends  
  
The dawn will never come  
  
Punish my heaven  
  
(Dark Tranquillity, Punish My Heaven)  
  
The old wizard raced down the stairs as quickly as he  
  
could, when he just reached the entry-hall as the  
  
doors crashed open. The black figure swept in, a large  
  
bundle in his arms. Dumbledore threw a swift look at  
  
the man's charge and sighed: "Infirmary, quickly!"  
  
The pale figure nodded and climbed the stairs,  
  
pressing the wounded body against his, carefully, not  
  
to hurt it. Albus Dumbledore had taken the "quick way  
  
up" and already waited at the entrance to the hospital  
  
wing, holding the doors open for them.  
  
Madam Pomfrey, dressed in a baby-blue nightgown,  
  
signalled him to lay the dog on one of the many free  
  
cots in the room, before she made him step back and  
  
transfigured the animal, or better animagus, back into  
  
his usual shape.   
  
She caught her breath, when she saw the countless  
  
bruises and cuts covering the man's whole body, but  
  
the sight of his ripped clothes and the dried fluids  
  
on his abdomen made her scream. Not that she had not  
  
seen it before, but now a friend of her was the  
  
victim.  
  
She took a deep breath and whispered a cleaning-charm,  
  
not able to raise her voice without wavering. The  
  
headmaster beside her cried silently, but the look on  
  
his face was frightening for his enemies as well as  
  
for anybody else. Only a few had ever seen him so  
  
angry.  
  
"Who did it, Severus? Who is the foul creature?"  
  
Snape sighed and moved back from the side of the bed.  
  
He closed his eyes briefly and sat down on a chair  
  
next to the headmaster.  
  
"Me."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm sorry Albus, but if I hadn't he would have  
  
suspected something! It was his birthday present for  
  
me, if I had refused he had killed him at once!"  
  
"I see. But there is something else, isn't there?"  
  
"You see everything, don't you?" the Potions master  
  
sighed, "Yes, there is something."  
  
"What is it, Severus? You know I wouldn't blame you  
  
for anything."  
  
"Riddle cast a spell on him. He said death wasn't  
  
enough for a mutt like him."  
  
"That doesn't sound good at all. Please go on."  
  
"I can't… - it is all my fault! When I hadn't stopped  
  
him from killing Black, he hadn't done THAT! Even if  
  
you don't blame me, Black will!"  
  
"SEVERUS! I don't know what upset you so much, but if  
  
something can do that after all these years, I can  
  
imagine very well that it must be more than just  
  
cruel. Tell me, please."  
  
The last word was spoken softly and the old wizard had  
  
laid a hand on Snape's shoulder to comfort the shaking  
  
man. Something horrible must have happened!  
  
"He cast some kind of ancient transmutation spell on  
  
him, before… I had to… rape him… and, I don't know for  
  
sure, but Voldemort said something about a punishment  
  
for lifetime…"  
  
Dumbledore clenched his fist, chuckles white with  
  
anger, as he crushed it into the mattress of the cot  
  
next to him. The blue eyes burned with a new,  
  
dangerous fury even Snape had never seen before in the  
  
old wizard. Dumbledore rose and stepped towards the  
  
injured man.  
  
"He wouldn't dare to…"  
  
The headmaster cast a swift spell on his former  
  
student and friend, but when a golden glow appeared  
  
around the man, he screamed in hate and anger. A  
  
shockwave like a cargo-train in full speed crashed  
  
through the infirmary, further to every stone in the  
  
castle, braking the windows in hospital wing and  
  
flashing over the grounds like a huge lightning.  
  
Snape was thrown against a wall and Poppy Pomfrey had  
  
barely managed to protect her patient during this  
  
outburst of energy. They stared in shock at the  
  
headmaster, who suddenly looked old and drained. He  
  
shook his head in defeat and mumbled a hex to repair  
  
the windows and other things that had been crushed by  
  
the magical shockwave.  
  
"I'm sorry. I couldn't control myself." he stated and  
  
sat down again. Snape carefully touched his back and  
  
took the seat beside the wizard.  
  
"Are you alright now? We don't want to scare the  
  
students, do we?"  
  
"No, of course not. Could you please inform the staff  
  
that everything is all right, or at least for most of  
  
us. - Thank you, Severus."  
  
When Snape returned from the fireplace in the next  
  
room, since there was none in the infirmary, he  
  
swallowed hard, before he looked first at Black and  
  
then at Dumbledore.  
  
"What did you find out?"  
  
"Riddle has once again showed us all too clearly that  
  
he is the worst, inhuman bastard on earth you could  
  
ever imagine. Only his ways get more and more twisted  
  
and cruel."  
  
"…"  
  
"He cast an impregnation-spell on him. That is  
  
ancient, strong magic only a few can perform."  
  
"A dark hex?"  
  
"No. It's pure, white magic and usually used for good  
  
reasons, but in this case it's more or less a  
  
punishment, if he cannot accept it and live with it."  
  
"But… Don't tell me Riddle hexed him somehow pregnant.  
  
Even with those spells you need a second father or  
  
mother to… oh no – NO!"  
  
"Severus…"  
  
"I should have known! Don't you understand, Albus – HE  
  
KNOWS! He knows I'm a traitor, this is not only a  
  
punishment for Black, it's for me! Voldemort gives a  
  
damn about people like Black, he would just kill him,  
  
but instead he used him to punish me for spying on  
  
him!"  
  
"Severus – CALM DOWN!"  
  
"Fuck!"  
  
Dumbledore sighed and cast a quick spell on his  
  
Potions master, who instantly lost his consciousness,  
  
and levitated him to one of the cots. The nurse turned  
  
to them.  
  
"What did you do to him?"  
  
"Thought it better for him to sleep over this. He  
  
needed a rest and I cannot tolerate a  
  
nervous-breakdown in the middle of the term."  
  
"Right you are! Can you just help me with this one? I  
  
fear he might need somebody to talk to when he wakes  
  
up, what he will do soon, and I think he'd prefer you  
  
over me."  
  
"I'll stay with him for tonight, but tomorrow I have a  
  
meeting with the school-governors, so I won't be  
  
available. And we have to inform his godson, Harry  
  
will be sick of worries, when we don't inform him.  
  
Sirius has been missed over a month after all, when he  
  
disappeared after the trial with Pettigrew. Poor boy,  
  
he'll have to grow up now, I fear…"  
  
Madam Pomfrey nodded and checked her charge a last  
  
time, before she made a quick check-up on Snape, which  
  
she had not done in years, since the man loathed these  
  
procedures and he was unconscious at the moment  
  
anyway.  
  
Dumbledore had taken a seat next to Black's head and  
  
caressed the black-haired man's brow, before he gave  
  
him a paternal kiss on the forehead and leaned back to  
  
have a look at the extend of the injuries. Poppy had  
  
told him it was nothing serious beside a few cuts,  
  
several bruises, a few cracked rips and the ripped  
  
backside…  
  
The headmaster sighed and banished these thoughts from  
  
his head. A new life had begun to form inside the man  
  
before him and they, Severus and Sirius himself, had  
  
to find a way to life with the fact that the baby was  
  
theirs, their child – maybe he could help a bit?  
  
The figure on the bed whimpered in his sleep and  
  
struggled against the covers.  
  
Now the headmaster would not only have to deal with  
  
loads of students, teachers, the Order, Voldemort, the  
  
war and the protection of Hogwarts, but with a raped,  
  
pregnant man and the other unwilling father, who  
  
loathed the first, as well, not to forget the  
  
prominent godson of the first. Then a certain nosy  
  
reporter he know would turn up shortly after the news  
  
spread, what they would surely do. And what would  
  
happen to the child? An abortion under the  
  
circumstances was impossible and who would adopt a  
  
child of two male wizards, created by Voldemort? That  
  
made at least sure the child would stay under Hogwarts  
  
care for a while… 


	2. Memories

02 Memories  
  
In the pit of the night you used to pull me so close  
  
And then you'd hold me so tight  
  
And in the wink of an eye you used to give me it all  
  
And with a kiss in the darkness you'd deliver the  
  
light  
  
And in the pit of the night I hear you laughing so  
  
loud  
  
I know you're laughing at me  
  
Oh ain't it funny and sad the way I fell for your lies  
  
The way I fell into love and then I begged to be free  
  
  
  
You gave me nothing at all, now let me give it to you  
  
You taught me how to be cruel, now let me try it on  
  
you  
  
(Meatloaf, Kill you if you don't come back)  
  
A bright light shone through the window and tickled  
  
his nose. While the dizziness vanished a wave of pain  
  
ran down his spine and filled his whole body with  
  
agony. He moaned and a little later he felt a hand  
  
under his head and a fluid against his lips. He  
  
swallowed the foul tasting substance he recognized as  
  
a healing potion. He had used quite a few back last  
  
year, when they had fought the Death Eaters on  
  
Hogwarts' grounds. Unable to storm the castle they had  
  
eventually left, or at least the living part of them,  
  
not including Peter Pettigrew. The trial he had never  
  
had had been hold and the judges had found him not  
  
guilty in all cases. Since he was free, he had spent  
  
the summer with his godson Harry at his new house in  
  
London.  
  
When Harry had returned to Hogwarts for his last year,  
  
Sirius had been offered the position of the  
  
DADA-teacher, but he had declined and taken his old  
  
job back as an auror for the Ministry of Magic. When  
  
the last session of the trial had been finished and he  
  
had his whole belongings back, including the Black  
  
fortune at Gringotts, he had spent the day in  
  
Wizarding-London, when someone had knocked him out.  
  
The last thing he remembered was waking up in a dirty,  
  
dark cell, his only company a few rats. One time a  
  
day, as he assumed, since he didn't have a watch or  
  
his wand, a man in dark robes came and brought him  
  
food and water. He never got an answer to his  
  
questions from the Death Eater. Then, one day, three  
  
men had shown up, from which he recognized his keeper,  
  
the Dark Lord himself, which had sent down shivers  
  
down his spine and another man. His eyes had shown  
  
cold and black through the holes in the white mask –  
  
Snape.  
  
Suddenly younger memories invaded his brain, memories  
  
of hurt, pain, agonizing pain in his abdomen and a  
  
cold laughter from Riddle and the other Death Eater,  
  
mixed with his own screams and moans of pleasure from  
  
behind him. NO!  
  
His eyes flew open in horror, when he felt the  
  
numbness in his lower body. It was easy to count one  
  
and one together: on one hand the numbness and the  
  
white ceiling of the hospital wing, on the other hand  
  
the dizzy memories, only pictures without connection  
  
and sounds - noises of pain and pleasure, lost dignity  
  
and the bursting laughter of the Death Eaters…  
  
"No..."  
  
His voice was weak, when he blinked. A white bearded  
  
face hovered over him, a sorrowful look on the  
  
wrinkled features. He recognized the headmaster and  
  
closed his eyes again.  
  
He was safe now.  
  
  
  
Down in the dungeon, Severus Snape paced his office;  
  
his thoughts fixed on the deep hatred inside him, not  
  
for Black, surely not, but for his old Master. How he  
  
ever had been able to join him was a riddle to Snape,  
  
how he could have believed all the lies about love,  
  
acceptance, power, security and a better future, but  
  
after a time had crawled back to Dumbledore and begged  
  
for forgiveness. Albus had granted him mercy and from  
  
that moment he had been a spy for the light. Riddle  
  
had not had a clue of his treachery until last year,  
  
when he had ordered Snape to weaken the wards around  
  
Hogwarts. He had strengthened them instead and  
  
pretended Dumbledore had found the wards low and made  
  
it himself. But then that rat Pettigrew had found  
  
traces of his magic and reported to his Lord.  
  
Well, it didn't matter anymore, since his career as a  
  
spy had come to an end. Severus had been happy to end  
  
the charade, but now other problems had occurred that  
  
ripped his heat in two and burned deeper than most  
  
knew.  
  
Albus had talked to him after he had woken up in the  
  
infirmary, but it didn't ease his pain much. When he  
  
had joined the Dark Lord his boyfriend had been  
  
pregnant. Unfortunately he had made a mistake and was  
  
punished with the Cruciatus, what had led him to loose  
  
the baby and soon later he had taken his own life as  
  
well to escape the cruelty of life.  
  
After that Severus had turned his back to his Lord,  
  
his family and his friends and began to teach at  
  
Hogwarts under the direct eye of Albus Dumbledore, the  
  
most powerful, wise, determined and kindest wizard  
  
ever, though he was an old, manipulative coot.  
  
He stopped pacing in front of the fireplace. He took  
  
a deep breath, before he threw some Floo-powder into  
  
the fire, before he said: "Headmaster's office!" and  
  
stepped into the green flames. He ignored the swirling  
  
inside his stomach and stepped gracefully out of the  
  
fireplace. The headmaster looked at him, before he  
  
finished the letter on his desk.  
  
"Ah, Severus. I assume it's about the incident from  
  
yesterday?"  
  
"Yes, Albus."  
  
"So, my dear boy, what can I do for you?"  
  
"Besides from killing Riddle and listen to me, not  
  
much."  
  
"I can't kill Voldemort or I'd have done it long ago,  
  
but I'll listen."  
  
"It's about the baby."  
  
"Ah, yes. I thought you'd want to talk about that."  
  
"It's not THAT, Albus, it's only an innocent child."  
  
"Completely right."  
  
"Will Black keep it?"  
  
"He has no choice. We talked this morning and the only  
  
way to abort the child would make him loose his own  
  
magic as well, so he'll have to keep it, yes."  
  
"But he didn't want to. Does he know about me, by the  
  
way?"  
  
"I didn't tell him jet. And I would phrase it  
  
different: he was slightly disgusted, but he doesn't  
  
blame the child for anything, so he'd keep it anyway."  
  
"He will raise it himself?"  
  
"Yes, he said as much."  
  
"I see."  
  
"And?"  
  
"It's mine as well."  
  
"So you'll claim father-ship?"  
  
"Yes, it's my child, not only his."  
  
"So what are you going to do?"  
  
"I suppose I have to talk to black first."  
  
"I'd advise that."  
  
"Stop being so calm. You know it's a sensitive spot  
  
for me!"  
  
"I know, Severus. We'll keep both of them safe."  
  
"Good."  
  
"He's awake. You can talk to him, but please be  
  
gentle. The whole - procedure - is hard on him. He's a  
  
little shy to any kind of touch and so on."  
  
"I wish I could have prevented it."  
  
"I know, Severus. He'll understand."  
  
"Are you sure. He'll bite my head off when he gets to  
  
know the truth."  
  
"You have to tell him yourself. It's the highest  
  
chance he won't freak out."  
  
Severus nodded absentmindedly and left the office  
  
through the door, heading for the hospital wing. He  
  
wouldn't admit it, but he was more afraid of Black  
  
that of Voldemort at the moment. 


	3. Guilt vs Hurt

03 Guilt vs. Hurt  
  
Sometimes everything is wrong,  
  
now it's time to sing along  
  
When your day is night alone  
  
If you feel like letting go  
  
If you think you've had too much of this life,   
  
well hang on  
  
(REM, Everybody hurts)  
  
The door opened and a dark clad figure swept in,  
  
halting next to his bed. He gazed up and found the  
  
obsidian eyes of his nemesis. Well, to be faithful wit  
  
himself that wasn't completely true. When Albus had  
  
told him this morning that he was pregnant, he had  
  
freaked out and cried like the world had come to an  
  
end. Albus and Poppy had comforted him and later he  
  
had time alone in to think about it.   
  
Sirius had always wanted a child, a family, since  
  
Lilly had given birth to Harry. James had known about  
  
his dreams and made him to Harry's godfather, what he  
  
had appreciated a lot, but he had never dreamed of  
  
being with child himself. Of course he knew about the  
  
possibilities for males to become pregnant with the  
  
help of magic, but the potions for this cause were  
  
unbelievable expensive, even for the heir of a  
  
pureblood family like his own and later he had been in  
  
Azkaban, his lover, Nero Krum. He turned his back to  
  
him and married a woman his father had chosen for him.  
  
They lived somewhere in Bulgaria now, in a huge manor  
  
with a famous son, who was the seeker for his home  
  
country. Fabulous!   
  
And now he was pregnant with the child of his  
  
childhood fiend, by rape, even if he knew Snape had  
  
done it to keep his cover and save both their lives –  
  
it was quite a lot to take!  
  
  
  
Severus looked at the man on the cot, curled up into a  
  
ball, the covers tightly tugged around him and a hand  
  
resting on his abdomen. Why couldn't it have been  
  
somebody else?  
  
He sighed and looked at Black's face and thereof  
  
directly into the crystal blue eyes. Black was  
  
beautiful, no one, not even him, could deny that. He  
  
had dark, silky hair, which was curly at the end of  
  
the loose strands, that fell down to the middle of his  
  
back. The years as a fugitive had made him slim and  
  
muscular. His skin was pale, but after a month in one  
  
of Malfoy's dungeons that was no wonder. But what  
  
caught him most were these deep, blue eyes that were  
  
usually like oceans, wild and free. Even now they  
  
sparkled like diamonds.  
  
"Snape, nice to see you – AGAIN!"  
  
"You know?" Severus asked, caught off guard.  
  
"Of course I do. Not many Death Eaters with dark eyes  
  
look guilty before they…"  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Did I hear you right? The big, bad bat, Severus  
  
Snape, is sorry?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"…"  
  
"We have to talk."  
  
"I don't know why."  
  
"It's my child as well!"  
  
"I don't fucking care. She'll stay with me and we  
  
won't molest you a single time."  
  
"I have a right to be with her!"  
  
"No, you lost that when you violated my body! I won't  
  
let something like you near my child!"  
  
"She's OUR child! And how do you know it's a girl?"  
  
"I just know. I'm the mother after all!"  
  
"That sounds ridiculous."  
  
"That IS ridiculous. Sirius Black is the mother of  
  
Severus Snape's child."  
  
"At least you admitted that she is our child."  
  
"What shall I do to prevent that, he?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"FINE!"  
  
"I want to raise her, too."  
  
"Are you serious?"  
  
"No, you are, but I mean it."  
  
"Funny, Sevvy's made a joke!"  
  
"Don't call me that."  
  
"But Sevvy, you're the father of my child. We're bound  
  
to be a good couple!"  
  
"Erg – stop making puppy-dog-eyes at me. I won't  
  
yield!"  
  
"No, I did. Under force, I may add."  
  
"So you don't hate me?"  
  
"Not more than I did before."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"As I said."  
  
Snape stuck out his tongue and sat down on the side of  
  
the bed, taking Sirius' hand into his.  
  
"Promise me one thing?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You won't shut me out of her life."  
  
"I guess I can life with that."  
  
"When we're talking about living-conditions anyway:  
  
Albus wants us to stay here, for our own security and  
  
in my case to teach, of course. But when Voldemort  
  
will be defeated somehow and we're still alive we have  
  
to come up with a way to raise her together."  
  
"…"  
  
"I know it sounds odd, but I think a child should have  
  
both parents around, even if they're not a couple and  
  
so on…"  
  
"I understand. We will think of something. It's not an  
  
urgent matter anyway."  
  
"Right."  
  
"Good."  
  
"I have classes to teach. I'll stop by later, okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I've got plenty of time. Poppy won't let me out  
  
the next week anyway."  
  
"How are you coping with – you know?"  
  
"I guess I'd kill myself if it were some various Death  
  
Eater, but since you were quite gently I suppose I can  
  
live with it."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Just don't come too near."  
  
Severus left and closed the door behind him, before he  
  
leaned against the wall heavily. That had gone better  
  
than he had dared to hope. He just wanted to make his  
  
way to his classroom for the seventh year Potions  
  
class, when Potter crossed his way.  
  
"Ah, Mr. Potter…"  
  
"No time. I have to go to the infirmary."  
  
"It's alright."  
  
"Professor, are you... – never mind, see you later!"  
  
he said and hurried to the hospital-wing.  
  
Snape sighed and continued his way downstairs. He  
  
would have to deal with the brat later…  
  
  
  
Sirius sighed. It had been hard to keep his face up  
  
with Snape around. Exhausted, he pulled the blanket  
  
higher and closed his eyes. Not a good idea, he  
  
noticed quickly. He didn't want to remember the last  
  
month. As a dog the dungeon-cell had been comfortable  
  
enough, but the food had been much too little and he  
  
had missed the daylight.   
  
And then Severus had taken him. Though the spy had  
  
been quite gentle, he still felt sore and the bruises  
  
and cuts, inflicted shortly before Riddle had left him  
  
outside in the woods, didn't improve the situation  
  
either. Worse was the embarrassment he had to endure,  
  
before Severus had brought him here…  
  
He wondered when he had started to refer to Snape as  
  
Severus, but he was too tired to bother further. All  
  
he wanted was to sleep forever – well, not forever,  
  
since his little girl would need him in nine month,  
  
but maybe for this time.   
  
What had surprised him was the fact, that Severus  
  
wanted this child as well. When he had prepared  
  
himself to defend his girl, he had been confronted  
  
with a caring father instead of the usual bastard-self  
  
of Snape he was so used to after all the battles they  
  
had fought side by side. If he thought about it now,  
  
Severus would have been a good comrade the last years,  
  
if not for these childish pranks they had played each  
  
other back in school, when certain events in the  
  
Shrieking Shack had changed it all…  
  
Suddenly someone touched his shoulder. Panic rose in  
  
his chest and he flung around, hitting whoever stood  
  
there to the ground. The nightstand crashed and some  
  
phials broke hitting floor and Madam Pomfrey came out  
  
of her office to see what had caused the noise, when  
  
she saw a man sitting on the bed and a boy lying on  
  
the floor in a pool of mixed potions.  
  
"Get up, boy." she pulled him up and cleaned the mess  
  
up. Some of the potions had already burned a hole into  
  
his robe, most certainly the "Easy-digestion Potion",  
  
she thought.  
  
  
  
Sirius Black looked a bit perplex and pulled his  
  
confused godson into a small hug.  
  
"I missed you, lad!"  
  
"I missed you, too, Sirius – we were all so worried  
  
when you disappeared after the trial!"  
  
"I'm here now."  
  
"…"  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"I cannot believe what he did to you!"  
  
Sirius went pale: "Albus told you?"  
  
"No, but… I had a vision."  
  
"…"  
  
"Sirius, are you okay?"  
  
"…"  
  
Sirius turned away, but he boy sat down on the bed and  
  
caressed his shoulder. He sighed and buried his head  
  
deeper in the pillow.  
  
"Sirius, please loo at me. You mustn't let it get you.  
  
You're stronger than this!"  
  
There was no reply.  
  
"Sirius – please, I know he didn't want to hurt you,  
  
but he had no choice. And we will kill Voldemort for  
  
all the things he's done, so please talk to me!"  
  
"It's more…"  
  
"What is more – Sirius, please!"  
  
"The spell… I'm not mad at Snape for doing his - duty,  
  
but…"  
  
"What did the spell? Did it, …did it make you enjoy…"  
  
"No."  
  
"Sorry, I don't know anything about the spell. After  
  
my vision we tried to look it up, but we found nothing  
  
in the library, not even in the restricted section!"  
  
"It's ancient and not many know about it, and you  
  
shouldn't use the permission to use the restricted  
  
section for your advanced DADA-course for private  
  
issues."  
  
"Don't play the caring parent, Sirius. What's wrong –  
  
beside THAT – c'mon, tell me!"  
  
"I'm pregnant."  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"You heard me. It's an impregnation-spell."  
  
"Oh…"  
  
"What OH – I know it's weird, but I can't change it."  
  
"It's just… there's usually a second parent for a  
  
child…"  
  
"A child ALWAYS has TWO parents."  
  
"Don't yell at me! It's not my fault!"  
  
"Of course not, but it's just too much for me!"  
  
"Oh, Siri…" he hugged his godfather tightly.  
  
"Please – just don't hug me too tight. My ribs are  
  
bruised by now, no need to crack them all."  
  
"Then you… Snape is… eh?"  
  
"Snape is the other father, yes."  
  
"Fuck!"  
  
"That's what I said."  
  
"Suits somehow."  
  
"That's not funny. Not anymore…"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Just don't bring your friends around, would you. I… I  
  
couldn't bear so many people around jet, okay?"  
  
"No problem – but I can come, can I?"  
  
"Yes, you, Albus, Poppy, Severus…"  
  
"You call him by his first name?"  
  
"Not really, but…"  
  
"Did he do or say anything to you, today I mean?"  
  
"He said it's his child, too and he won't leave us  
  
alone."  
  
"Did he? I didn't expect that."  
  
"Nor did I."  
  
"I have classes."  
  
"Sure. See you later."  
  
"Bye and…"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Congratulations – concerning the baby, if you…"  
  
"Keep it? – Yes, it's my child after all."  
  
"Yeah, and Snape's!"  
  
"Unfortunately."  
  
"And I have double Potions now!" he groaned and left,  
  
smiling at his godfather a last time before closing  
  
the door. Sirius sighed and soon drifted into a deep,  
  
peaceful slumber, after Madam Pomfrey had given him a  
  
Dreamless Sleep-potion against the nightmares. 


	4. Breakdown

04 Breakdown  
  
There ain't enough boys in the world to go   
  
around  
  
You gotta be wicked and tricky  
  
to bring that big boy down  
  
There ain't enough time to talk to everyone  
  
You gotta be distant and bitchy  
  
If you ever wanna get it all done  
  
Do I wish that things were different?  
  
I'm wishing away  
  
I won't point fingers but the thing is  
  
That it always breaks on down this way  
  
(Lucy Woodward, The Breakdown, While You Can)  
  
It was evening when he awoke again. Poppy had moved  
  
him to a separate room in the corner of the infirmary,  
  
further away from the students, who had come to her  
  
after the Quidditch-match this afternoon. Sirius  
  
wondered, if the Slytherins did always win their  
  
matches through knocking the other team out, as three  
  
Hufflepuff-players had to stay overnight. None of them  
  
had seen him anyway, since they were all unconscious  
  
and Poppy had moved him before the others arrived,  
  
what he was thankful for.  
  
An hour ago Harry had looked in and asked how he was,  
  
but he left quickly because of detention with Filch.  
  
Poppy had brought him dinner from the great hall,  
  
which was exactly what he needed. Hungrily he had  
  
eaten until Severus had shown up and joined him with a  
  
tray, mumbling something about gossip and curious  
  
brats, who couldn't respect privacy.  
  
He watched Severus eat, secretly searching for any  
  
good in the person he had hated most of his life, not  
  
really hated of course, but despised at least.  
  
"Are you checking me out?" Snape suddenly said and  
  
fixed his gaze on him.  
  
"You wish."  
  
"No, thank you."  
  
"…"  
  
He rolled his eyes and mustered the oversized bat  
  
again. No, Snape was definitely not beautiful, but  
  
these obsidian, penetrating eyes, the fair skin, the  
  
greasy, black hair, the huge, crooked nose – he was  
  
very… individual, maybe even attractive.   
  
His gaze wet deeper, over the broad shoulders, the  
  
muscular arms that put their trays aside as if they  
  
weight nothing, the well built chest he had once seen  
  
during a battle, the long, lean legs, which he had  
  
secretly admired since their time at Hogwarts…  
  
Sirius couldn't believe that he was indeed checking  
  
out Snape. He shook his head and sighed in defeat:  
  
"Must be the hormones or the situation itself…"  
  
"Isn't it a bit too early to use that excuse, Sirius?"  
  
"You use my first name?"  
  
"If I may?"  
  
"Sure – I mean, there is not much left you could  
  
respect, is there?"  
  
"Don't even think like that! You are, as much as I  
  
hate to admit it, a great fighter, a strong mind, and  
  
the father figure of a very tough boy and a beautiful  
  
man. Don't let this rule your fate. I know it is hard  
  
to cope with, but there is a child inside you that  
  
will grow and be born, that needs you more than  
  
anything else in the world and it loves you, even now,  
  
and nothing can change that. You godson visits you  
  
very free second he has between classes, homework,  
  
detentions and Quidditch and I'm sure he loves you,  
  
too."  
  
"And who else?"  
  
"I suppose there is someone."  
  
"Wrong. There's fucking nobody! And Harry doesn't need  
  
me."  
  
"He does. He can trust you and you're always there for  
  
him if you can."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Telling me this. I…"  
  
"You can tell me. I can keep it to myself if  
  
necessary."  
  
"I don't want to disappoint him. I promised James,  
  
that I would be there if something happened to them,  
  
but I cannot be strong for Harry now! I just can't…"  
  
"It's okay. He understands."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Dumbledore told me, that Harry was with him that  
  
evening, when it happened. Your godson had the vision  
  
while he was awake and screamed at Albus to help us –  
  
not you, but us."  
  
"You mean, that he doesn't blame me?"  
  
"YOU? It was my fault, if not for Riddle! You are  
  
absolutely innocent."  
  
"I'm filthy. Not even you can change that."  
  
"BULLSHIT! I did that to you to save my fucking neck  
  
and you as well, you couldn't change anything. Nobody  
  
could have!"  
  
"Can you…"  
  
"What can I?"  
  
"Just hold me?"  
  
"If… if you want that."  
  
"I cannot ask anybody else and you are – part of it  
  
anyway…"  
  
Sirius looked up, meeting these pitch-black eyes. A  
  
lonely tear ran down his face, when Severus cradled  
  
him in his arms and pulled him onto his lap and  
  
pressing a caste kiss on his hair. He cried silently,  
  
shivering, when Severus stroked his back to calm him  
  
down a bit.  
  
"I'll always be there for you two, I promise."  
  
"I know…thank you so much."  
  
"It's my child and you are a long-time ally, so why  
  
don't we overcome these stupid hatred, for the baby's  
  
sake?"  
  
"Hmm – I'd like that, but Severus?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"There is something I have to tell you, before you  
  
decide what you want."  
  
"Then tell me. There isn't really much that can upset  
  
me now, you know."  
  
"Yeah. The point is: I'm gay, so if you are  
  
uncomfortable with that, you better leave now."  
  
"…"  
  
"Sev?"  
  
"I'm still here, am I not?"  
  
"Stay?"  
  
"A few moments. I have classes to prepare and I… don't  
  
want to rush anything. We hated each other for years  
  
and one day cannot change that."  
  
"I know. I was disgusted when you ripped my clothes  
  
off, but I was so afraid I couldn't think properly and  
  
later, don't know, I just feared you'd hate me even  
  
more and threaten our child."  
  
"I'd never do that. But I'm glad you took this so  
  
good, even if I'm a greasy git at times."  
  
"Bastard!"  
  
"I'm pretty sure my parents were married when I was  
  
born, thank you, Snuffles!"  
  
"I'm quite human at the moment and I do not intend to  
  
change that the next nine month."  
  
"You must not transform, it could harm you both."  
  
"Albus told me already. I'll be careful not to get me  
  
into trouble."  
  
"You better do that or else I have to buy a chain and  
  
a necklace for you and confirm you to your rooms."  
  
"I don't have rooms here."  
  
"Then my rooms."  
  
"What would the students think!"  
  
"That I'm a sadistic, twisted giant-bat with a new  
  
pet, nothing foreign to me."  
  
"I can imagine that all too well, thank you, Sevvy."  
  
"You'd like that, don't you?"  
  
"Surely not."  
  
"Are you okay now?"  
  
"Better, at least."  
  
"I have to go, I'll visit tomorrow."  
  
"Severus?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Why are you doing that for me?"  
  
"Because I want to, because it makes you feel better,  
  
eases my guilt and a certain old, white-haired  
  
know-it-all rip my head off if I wouldn't."  
  
"I see. Good night."  
  
"Sleep well…"  
  
He stood up and pressed Sirius' hand a last time;  
  
before he returned to his chambers to finally find  
  
some of his much needed rest. The preparations for the  
  
sixth year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws could wait until  
  
tomorrow! 


	5. KILL'em ALL

05 KILL'em ALL!  
  
No mercy for what we are doing   
  
No thought to even what we have done  
  
We don't need to feel the sorrow   
  
No remorse for the helpless one   
  
War without end   
  
No remorse No repent  
  
We don't care what it meant  
  
Another day Another death   
  
Another sorrow Another breath   
  
No remorse No repent   
  
We don't care what it meant  
  
Another day Another death   
  
Another sorrow Another breath  
  
(Metallica, No Remorse)  
  
Harry sat on his bed, head in his hands, when Ron  
  
opened the door and looked at him suspiciously. The  
  
red-haired had been concerned, since his friend had  
  
returned form the infirmary this morning. After a  
  
month Sirius had finally been found and now Harry  
  
looked even more concerned that after that horrific  
  
vision of his.  
  
"Hey, what happened, lad? Is it that bad?"  
  
"…"  
  
"You know you can tell me everything, don't you?"  
  
Ron sat down on Harry's bed and lifted his chin with  
  
one finger. Harry's eyes were swollen and red, as if  
  
he had cried quite a lot. Salty streaks had dried on  
  
his cheeks and he wiped them away, shaking his head in  
  
disbelieve.   
  
The door opened and Hermione came in. She wanted to  
  
ask something, but when her look fell on Harry she  
  
closed her mouth and sat down next to Ron."  
  
"Harry?" she asked shyly.  
  
"I'll kill him. KILL THEM ALL!"  
  
"Who?" Ron asked.  
  
"VOLDEMORT!!!"  
  
"O-.okay, maybe you could calm down a bit and tell me  
  
what happened?"  
  
"He… He hurt Sirius. I mean, not only wounded, but  
  
also really hurt! Physically and mentally."  
  
"Badly?" Hermione sounded concerned.  
  
"More than that. And he hurt Snape, too."  
  
"Well, I don't really care about Snape, but he's on  
  
our side nevertheless." (Typical Ron!)  
  
"Yeah, he's always been there, when I needed him."  
  
"Sirius or Snape?"  
  
"Both, but that was definitely too much. If that  
  
bastard comes near me ever again, or Sirius, Hermione  
  
or you or anybody else here, I'll kill him!"  
  
"Eh – and how exactly did he hurt them? I mean, they  
  
can still move their legs or something like that,  
  
can't they?"  
  
"Yeah, but – oh God, it's so…cruel, embarrassing and  
  
all!"  
  
"They didn't cut off their…"  
  
"RON!"  
  
"Then just tell me!"  
  
"Riddle made Snape rape him."  
  
"WHAT?" his friends screamed in sync.  
  
"He had to rape him n order to keep them alive."  
  
"Erg – that's… FUCK!" Ron said faintly.  
  
"Yeah… and the worst is, he cast some ancient spell on  
  
them to make Sirius pregnant."  
  
Hermione threw herself at Harry, embracing him tightly  
  
and cried openly, her body trembling.  
  
Ron fainted.  
  
  
  
A few days later…  
  
The Order met at Black Manor that evening. People  
  
talked hysterically, men cried openly and even the  
  
calmest members cursed in a way no one ever heard  
  
before from them.  
  
"We will lure them out of their holes and hunt them  
  
down the road to death!" the usually friendly and  
  
quiet Remus Lupin growled, the werewolf in him coming  
  
out.  
  
"You-know-who must be stopped and the whole lot of  
  
them destructed for once and ever!" Mrs. Weasley said  
  
and the loud clapping and yelling around her only  
  
underlined her words.  
  
The Order was ready for the final blow, ready to kill,  
  
to destroy, to burn and break - them all!  
  
Preparations had been taken care of since years, the  
  
plans made, the weapons ready, and even the last one.  
  
To fulfil the prophecy, they had trained the boy for  
  
over a year. It was time to strike and there was so  
  
much at stake, but thy couldn't, wouldn't wait any  
  
longer.  
  
"The boy is ready. He has the skills, the power and  
  
the attitude and will to do it. Let's not wait, his  
  
anger and hate gives him the power. We will strike  
  
tonight, at Malfoy Manor!"  
  
The crowd cheered in deathly hate. The boy, Harry  
  
Potter, sat on a chair next to Dumbledore and the  
  
Weasleys, Bill, Charley, Arthur, Molly, Fred and  
  
George, and even Percy, who looked angrier and more  
  
determined than any other redhead.  
  
"Fudge is a fucking fool, but when he resigns we might  
  
have to deal with Lucius Malfoy. I don't understand  
  
how he got away with it again! The department for law  
  
enforcement must have been black-mailed or corrupted,  
  
it sucks!" Percy exclaimed bitter.  
  
"Right, my son. The heads of the Ministry are all  
  
idiotic bastards! Not able to stop a few Death Eaters  
  
with hundreds of aurors at their side!" Arthur stated.  
  
"Perfectly right!" Molly supported a language she'd  
  
never allowed in any other matters.  
  
"I'll kill the fucking bastard!" Harry growled. The  
  
gas-lamp next to him exploded.  
  
"We'll protect you and deal with the rest of these  
  
bastards!" Hagrid said sincerely, before they  
  
apparated to the Manor to face their enemies and bind  
  
or kill them to the last man.  
  
  
  
The grotesque, crystal statues inside the hallways  
  
sparkled in green and red light. The air was filled  
  
with hexes, curses, dark and white, lightning and  
  
thunder from the crashing furniture and bodies, which  
  
flew against the walls, lay crumbled on the floor.  
  
Blood covered the once flawless green carpets and  
  
mahogany-floors. Countless Death Eaters and aurors  
  
fought, or had fought, in the halls, corridors,  
  
kitchens, living and dining rooms, salons and gardens,  
  
bedrooms and even bathrooms.   
  
The manor was filled with screams, the roof suddenly  
  
on fire and trained bloodhounds roaming outside,  
  
attacking everybody and everything they could find,  
  
friend or enemy of their master, who just fell under  
  
the curse of an old auror with only one real and one  
  
magical eye.   
  
Mad Eye Moody slammed the dead body out of the way and  
  
hexed the door to the dungeons open. Unable to  
  
apparate because of a new placed ward the Death eaters  
  
were trapped inside the dungeons, which soon would be  
  
their mausoleum.   
  
Mad Eye, followed by Dumbledore, Lupin, Bill Weasley,  
  
Tonks, Snape and Harry. They just entered another  
  
large dungeon, when they spotted the red eyes glowing  
  
in the shadows. Harry had felt the familiar pain  
  
before, but since their fight last year he was mostly  
  
immune.  
  
Last time Voldemort had laughed, before the duel had  
  
begun. This time, he didn't.   
  
Dumbledore and the others quickly disarmed and bound  
  
the remaining Death Eaters around their master and the  
  
twins levitated them back to the over ground levels of  
  
the manor. The aurors and Order members had  
  
extinguished the fires, that had roamed the building  
  
before, but most of the east and south wing had burned  
  
down, only the east part with the entry to the  
  
dungeons had remained and even there the once  
  
beautiful house was more or less destroyed. The Death  
  
Eaters were either dead or on their way to Azkaban per  
  
port-keys the Ministry had sent. Only the Dark Lord  
  
remained… 


	6. A Marvellous Death

06 A Marvellous Death  
  
Voldemort flew out of the shadows; his pale features only underlined the red glow in these orbs, filled with pure hatred and madness. He hissed a thin line of blood running down his chin. Another hex caught him in the middle of the chest and slammed him against the wall of the dungeon. And another one. Curse after curse hit, Stupefy, Expelliarmus, Confundo, Conjunctiva, Crucio, Diffindo and then.  
  
"Avada Kedavra!"  
  
Green light flashed out of Harry's wand and hit the Dark Lord. His eyes burned with hatred as they suddenly glowed bright green and a corpse fell dumb to the ground, shortly before it burned itself to ashes, leaving nothing behind but a silver pendant.  
  
A snake. 


	7. Far From Good

07 Far From Good  
  
The sky was dark grey and heavy rain changed the grounds into a huge mud pool, when the Golden Trio made their way back to the castle from the Greenhouses. Wet and cold they entered the Gryffindor common room and hung their soaked cloaks away, still leaving wet foot prints on the floor.  
  
Harry excused himself and made his way to the dorm to get his broom. Since Voldemort was defeated and the Death Eaters dead or in Askaban, he felt a bit lonely: Ron and Hermione still spent a lot of time wit him, but obviously preferred snogging to Quidditch. Flying was his only way to forget everything around him. Even after the Dark Lord's demise, he still felt cold and didn't let his guard down. Maybe he should relax, but he couldn't.  
  
  
  
(some weeks later)  
  
Sirius sat in the Gryffindor common room, together with Harry and Neville. Ron had long ago followed Hermione to her room. She had gotten her own, since she was the head girl this year and they definitely made use of that!  
  
Harry sighed and patted Sirius' head. His godfather had snuggled up to him on the couch and laid his head onto Harry's lap. It didn't bother him - Sirius needed a bit of comfort. When Pomfrey had released him, the headmaster had kept Sirius as a substitute Potions teacher for professor Snape. Harry had not known that Sirius could teach Potions, but Sirius had trained as an auror before the incident at Godric's Hollow, what included Potions.  
  
His knowledge didn't reach Snape's, but the lessons were much more relaxed and he had found an interest in this infamous class. Everybody loved Professor Black, even the Slytherins, and Sirius was a good teacher - if his moods didn't swing too much!  
  
The mood swings had increased during the last days and his godfather got more and more cuddly. Harry smiled to Neville, when he suddenly heard Sirius snoring.  
  
Neville smiled: "You better wake him and bring him to bed, or else he'll be nasty tomorrow!"  
  
"Right mate. Siri? SIRI! Padfoot? . Breakfast!"  
  
Sirius shuddered and opened one eye: "Don't remind me - please!"  
  
The boys laughed and Sirius sat up: "I thought I'd loose the last respect of my student, when I slept on your lap in the common room, but I suppose there's nothing more to loose!"  
  
They laughed, all three, and Harry brought his godfather back to his rooms near the tower. Sirius yawned and sat on the bed. He gazed and suddenly his face became sad.  
  
"Siri, what's the matter?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You don't look well."  
  
"Oh.I just thought about.Nothing!"  
  
"About Snape, right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"He's a bastard, but I know him quite well from our missions - he'll be there for you two."  
  
"Do.do you really think so?"  
  
"Yes. He will take it as his new duty, but I'm sure he'll love her, too."  
  
"I just don't know.I mean, he said he'll be there and look after her, raise her - with me - but what ABOUT me?"  
  
"What exactly do you mean?"  
  
"He'll love her - but what about ME, my feelings? I don't want to be stuck with a guy who doesn't love me! Damn!"  
  
"Hey, Paddy, calm down. He won't hold you, if you decide to leave."  
  
"But then I'll have to leave the little one."  
  
"Oh - Sirius! What's the matter with Snape? Can't you just cut him out, if you want it so badly?"  
  
"I'm not really sure, if I want to."  
  
"You don't tell me YOU want Snape for yourself, do you? Siri?"  
  
"What? I.I don't - OOH FUCK! I don't know what I want, everything is so blurry and I just want somebody to. to hold me and be there and.Damn - I need sex!"  
  
"WHAT? But... but SNAPE!"  
  
"Not sex with Snape, Harry. but - OH, by Merlin!"  
  
"Sirius, please tell me that you don't want to fuck Snape. NOW!"  
  
"I. I.I - Harry, don't make that so difficult for me!"  
  
"You really - oh my god - you've got a crush on Snape!"  
  
"Must be the hormones."  
  
"Hope so! Oh FUCK, that's ERG!"  
  
"You better get back to the Gryffindor tower, curfew!"  
  
"Yeah. see you, Sirius!"  
  
"Bye, Harry."  
  
Sirius closed the door behind him and sank back into a chair in front of the fireplace. He lit the fire and took the whiskey-bottle from the sill to pour a glass. The liquid was white and a note appeared in front of him. He quickly recognized Severus' handwriting from the letters they had exchanged the last few weeks.  
  
"Alcohol is not good for babies, Sirius. Milk is much healthier for both of you! Sev."  
  
He sighed and drank a sip. It wasn't that bad actually and he drank a bit more. HE had thought about him, how nice! He smiled and pulled the last letter from under the cushion.  
  
Dear Sirius,  
  
I hope you two are well. Don't forget your meetings with Poppy, I know it's weird and embarrassing for you, but think of the little one! Like I think of you. I'm not good with words, at least, if I have to say them aloud. I want to be with you (both), like a family. I care greatly for you, Sirius. We have fought all the years, but without any reason - we could have been friends, even more!  
  
Askaban is not that bad, without the "old guards", I can cope - but I miss you! The first month we spend together opened my eyes and I really want you, not because of the baby, but because you are a wonderful man, I never knew you were!  
  
Give us a chance, when I come back! I'm so sorry that I can't be there for you!  
  
Hope you are well, greetings to Albus and the Slytherins!  
  
Love, Severus  
  
Sirius wiped the tears away, after he reread the letter. Would Harry understand? Would they really be together, or was it all fake? Would they finally find peace and happiness??? 


	8. Talks

08 Talks  
  
Time flew by as School started again after the Christmas break. The usual spring storms made the whole population of the castle shiver, when the harsh and cold north-wind crept through the tiniest gaps in walls, window frames or doors to make them shiver.  
  
Sirius hadn't bothered to get up since it was a Sunday and he had no lessons. He only taught the sixth and seventh years in DADA since it was too dangerous for the baby in the Potions lab and he had a lot of trouble to climb the many stairs to the dungeons every day with the extra weight. It was seven-months now and the baby kicked the whole time, never letting its father get a little rest. Fortunately the morning sickness had stopped long ago, but instead he suffered from backache and cramped feet. The mood swings had increased too.  
  
  
  
Draco looked up, when he heard the footsteps behind him. Nobody ever came here, but obviously the Golden Boy didn't follow any rules these days, the Slytherin sighed.  
  
"What's up, Potter? Is your common room too hot to stay or are you just unable to breathe between the girls snuggling up to the glorious hero?"  
  
"Why should they? Anyway, I don't like girls."  
  
"Woah! Stop, break! Harry bloody Potter, glorious hero and golden boy of Gryffindor is a filthy poof? I don't get it - can't you never be normal?"  
  
"Such a problem for you, Malfoy, traitor of the dark and penniless blonde slut of Slytherin?"  
  
"Not at all, brother of mind. Though I'm definitely not a slut. Too bad for you with all your money, that you can't have everything, he, Potty?"  
  
"No interest, sorry Dray."  
  
"Hey, since when are YOU allowed to call me his? Not even my fucking mother did that!"  
  
"I'm not your mum, am I? Well, if you don't earn your family-money, does she?"  
  
"Don't speak about my mother like this, or you will pay dearly!" Draco screamed suddenly.  
  
Harry had never even guessed that his words could have been true in a way. He felt ashamed for bringing it up, but he wouldn't admit that towards Malfoy of all people.  
  
"Who'd thought that! Malfoy is the bloody son of a bitch, or did I interpret you wrong?"  
  
"Keep your mouth shut, or wait, you aren't able to do so anyway, so just yell it round the school and bury my dignity right beside my mothers. After all, it's your fault!"  
  
"MY FAULT?"  
  
"Yes, your fault - if you had not destroyed Voldemort and our house, we might have had a chance to live halfway normal, but no, glorious Potter had to destroy everything!"  
  
"I.I'm sorry we destroyed your home and your family, but it was your father's choice to support Voldemort, not ours!"  
  
"I have no bloody FATHER ANYMORE!" the blonde yelled and suddenly climbed the barrier of the stand, "See you in hell, Potter! You can't save everyone, can you?"  
  
Then he jumped, but somebody grabbed his collar and pulled him back. He struggled against it, but fell back onto the floor of the stand, the other boy pinning him down.  
  
"Don't make shit, Malfoy!"  
  
"Why should YOU care?"  
  
"Listen - I'm sorry I said that about your mother, I never even imagined that it might be true, but - please, listen - even if you have no money anymore, you still can earn things back, make your own life, and things! Don't do something this stupid again, hear you!"  
  
"Why should you care?" the blonde asked wearily and closed his eyes in defeat.  
  
"I know you since more than six bloody years, and even if we mad each other a lot of trouble, I think we got along the last year pretty well. You are a schoolmate and I won't let you down like this. I won't tell anything, I promise - right?"  
  
"Bloody Gryffindor pride."  
  
"No. Come, stand up!" he hold his hand open. Draco took it thoughtfully and got up.  
  
"I think we should start anew, what do you think?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm Harry Potter."  
  
"Draco - skip the surname. It's not much worth anymore anyhow."  
  
"Fine. I'd like to get to know you!"  
  
"You already know me, Potter!"  
  
"No, I know Malfoy, but I'd like to know Draco."  
  
"I see. Well, I guess with the Slytherins dead, imprisoned or against me, I could use a new friend, right? And, Potter."  
  
"Harry for friends."  
  
"Right, Harry - please don't tell them about my mother. She lost so much already."  
  
"I won't. I understand, that it must be hard for you, Dray."  
  
"Thanks. By the way, Harry."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Your name sucks!"  
  
"Then you might use my nick, too."  
  
"You've got a nickname?"  
  
"Yes. I'm an animagus and my snake calls me by it as well."  
  
"Cool, I didn't know you were. Which animal?"  
  
"Only Ron, Hermione, Sirius, Snape and Dumbledore know. I'm a snake."  
  
"Bloody hell! You - a snake! My world crumbles, you know!"  
  
"Yeah, it was quite unexpected."  
  
"Yeah - so what's your nick then?"  
  
"Sin, it reminds me on the murders I have committed."  
  
"Murders?"  
  
"Death Eaters, but they were humans nevertheless."  
  
"I don't think so. They don't feel like we do, they don't act like humans, too."  
  
"Maybe you're right. But I like the nickname. Ron and Hermione are animagi, too, like the Marauders were."  
  
"Yeah. I read about them in Hogwarts, a history."  
  
"You read that? I thought Hermione was the only one!"  
  
"It's really interesting!"  
  
"Shut up, will you, please! One like that is enough."  
  
"For now. Which animals do they change in?"  
  
"I thought you didn't like them?"  
  
"I made some mistakes in the past. I guess they're alright, even Granger."  
  
"Not The Mudblood?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Good. Ron is an eagle and 'Mione a griffin."  
  
"Is she? I thought griffins were extremely aggressive."  
  
"She can be, believe me!"  
  
"I remember. She slapped me that one time, when Weasley spit snails."  
  
"Yeah - that was quite funny, but don't tell Ron I said so."  
  
"I won't. Doubt that Weasley would talk to me anyway."  
  
"You might be right there."  
  
"Why are you here and not with them anyway?"  
  
"I don't think they like threesomes, and I certainly don't!"  
  
"Oh - right, they're a couple, I forgot."  
  
"What about Pansy?"  
  
"Parkinson? You underestimate parental force, my dear! I hate that slut. It's her fault that I will be disgusted by woman for the rest of my life, at least in sexual ways!"  
  
"You are - gay?"  
  
"100%. You are."  
  
"The same, but I don't jump on everybody near me, alright."  
  
"Yeah - I'm no match for you!"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Well - I'm the son of a pathetic excuse of human, a Death Eater, and a prostitute. I have no money, no special abilities and no future, because no one wants a Death Eater child. Not to forget that you are Harry Potter, I don't have to go into further detail, do I?"  
  
"Well, you are intelligent, good at Quidditch and beautiful."  
  
"Right, I caught the snitch last time! Wow!"  
  
"You did."  
  
"But no team would employ me, and I don't want to play professional anyway."  
  
"What do you want, then?"  
  
"I'd like to study Magical Medicine to become a healer, but we can't afford the university."  
  
"I pay it for you."  
  
"What? Why? No - you can't, I..."  
  
"Listen Dray. I got quite a lot money for defeating Voldemort and I'm pretty sure that some of it was from your vault at Gringotts. It's only fair to pay some back."  
  
"I can't accept that."  
  
"You can. It's to rebuild a life I destroyed. You can pay it back when you've found a job."  
  
"I wouldn't take it, if it wasn't for my dream. I will pay it back."  
  
"Great."  
  
"You mean it?"  
  
"Yes, I do. I want to help you with your dream."  
  
"Thank you. I wouldn't know what to do without it."  
  
"It's time for dinner. Care to join me?" Harry suddenly asked out of instinct.  
  
"At your table? I'm a Slytherin!"  
  
"And Neville sits at Hufflepuff because of his girlfriend, and I have seen how your house treats you. I think you would benefit from it. At least we don't throw with food at others."  
  
"Okay, I suppose that's true."  
  
"Great, let's go!" and he pulled Draco after him.  
  
"This is all so quick!" Draco said and looked to his new friend, "I'm not sure about it."  
  
"I know. Let it just flow, no one knows what will happen before you try!"  
  
"Right." 


	9. To see you again

09 To see you again.  
  
Sheets of empty canvas Untouched sheets of clay They spread out before me As his body once did All five horizons, Revolved around his soul, as the earth to the sun Now the air I tasted and breathed, Has taken a turn Oooh all I know I taught him was everything Oooh all I know he gave all that he wore And my bitter hands Touch beneath the clouds Of what is everything All the old pictures have all been washed in black Changed in everything. (Pearl Jam, Black, slightly changed)  
  
Severus stumbled out of the little boat that had brought him back from Askaban island to the shored of Scotland. Even without the "old guards" the prison was a horrific and terrible place to stay. Shivering, he made his way towards the small inn at the cliffs.  
  
The room was dirty and dark. The only human being there was a wrinkly old witch, who eyed him knowingly and gave the man a Pepper-up and a room to sleep. It was far from comfortable, but much better that the prison he had stayed in for sixth month.  
  
How he missed Hogwarts, the castle, his lab, even the students, but most of all, his lover. Could he call him that? They had written each other a lot during the last half-year, letters consisting of words of love and affection, but he wasn't sure anymore.  
  
His heart ached, when he thought about Sirius and his unborn daughter. Nothing else in the world had ever been so precious to him like these two souls he barely knew, one not at all, the other since long years full of hatred that suddenly changed into love. All he could do was hurry back to Hogwarts and face the future that awaited him there.  
  
The first sunrays lightened the shores, when he got up, took a quick shower to look halfway presentable to see his lover, and paid the witch for the room, before he apparated to Hogsmeade to take the Floo in the Three Broomsticks to get home - to Hogwarts!  
  
After a quick welcome-back from Rosmerta he finally arrived in his chambers. He sighed and quickly changed into clean robes, before he hurried up the stairs to the great hall.  
  
"Merlin, you are back!" the headmaster shouted in happiness and hurried towards him, hugging his Potions master tightly, until Snape's lips got blue from the lack of oxygen.  
  
Suddenly Slytherins surrounded him, at least the ones who weren't Death Eater children or had opposed the Dark Lord back then. But he had no time for them. All he wanted was to see Sirius, when suddenly Potter stepped in his way, together with - Malfoy?  
  
"Professor, it's good to see you again," the blonde said smilingly, his hand lying around Potter's back. Potter grinned and -  
  
"Oh my God!" Snape thought and paled.  
  
.kissed the Slytherin on the cheek. They laughed at the sight of the "irritated" man. Suddenly Ronald Weasley neared him and sighed, looking over to the two lovebirds.  
  
"They can't help it, Professor Snape. Absolutely lovesick! May I bring you to Professor Black in the meantime they come down from their. whatever you call it - Sir?"  
  
"Yes, I'd appreciate that, Mr. Weasley." Snape said faintly and followed the red-haired boy.  
  
"What happened while I was away?" he asked, when they left the hall.  
  
"Pretty much, Professor. Harry scared the Gryffindors to death, when he turned up with Draco, but we cope quite well. The Slytherins from his year were pretty much upset, so Professor Dumbledore lets Draco stay with us, after they threatened his death, when he showed up again in the Slytherin dungeons. I suppose Dumbledore played a bit of a matchmaker with them, but Draco is okay, after he has styled his hair. Before he's unbearable!"  
  
"I remember that, go on, maybe with more important things, hmm?"  
  
"Well, there is nothing more, except for Neville Longbottom's new girlfriend."  
  
"Spare me that, Mr. Weasley - please!"  
  
". And Sirius, of course. But he can tell you himself, I guess. Here we are!"  
  
They had stopped in front of the picture of a beautiful man in the same corridor as the Fat Lady. Ron said: "Contraceptive Charm", and the portrait opened.  
  
"So that's the password?" Snape asked uneasy.  
  
"Yeah, pregnancy is a tricky business, you know. Be careful, if he's in a bad mood, he might rip your.erg - better parts off, at least he said he would the last time he was in a foul mood, because the baby kicked his bladder all the time. well, I better go, Professor Snape."  
  
"Thank you for the warning, Mr. Weasley." Snape said dryly.  
  
"You better take it seriously, Professor!"  
  
"I will." he said and stepped inside the blue decorated room. The portrait closed behind him.  
  
The walls were painted to resemble the ocean, the light wooden floor covered with fluffy, white carpets and the high windows decorated with dark blue curtains that shut out most of the light even at 9:30 am. There were several shelves, a desk, two armchairs and a couch with loads of blue cushions in front of the fireplace out of fair brown wood and two doors, that led to other rooms, from the same material. Silently Severus opened the first door to find a big bathroom with a large tub in one edge. He smiled at the luxury rooms and opened the second door. Behind it he found a bedroom, in it an armchair, a dresser and a king-size bed.  
  
The canopy was out of dark, blue and white silk, like the curtains, that hid most of the sleeping person from his view, only a hand visible.  
  
He pulled the armchair next to the bed and took the pale hand in his, tugging the curtains away to look at his precious love. Sirius looked absolutely beautiful: his hair even longer than before reached his waist and was spilled over the soft, white pillow in slight curls, the dark, thin eyebrows relaxed in sleep, the wet, dark lashes closed peacefully. His skin was still pale, but he looked healthy, his features still lean, but slightly rounder.  
  
Severus smiled, when he saw the huge bulge under the covers, that showed the state his lover was in. He bent down and caressed Sirius cheek, before he carefully sat down on the other side of the bed and spooned up behind his love, pulling one arm around him.  
  
  
  
Sirius woke and felt much more relaxed than the last days. The storm, which had blown over the last days, had finally settled and he felt warm and safe. One moment - warm? He cuddled deeper into the warmth in his back, feeling something in the back of his neck. He sighed softly and opened his eyes, suddenly growing aware of a person in HIS bed.  
  
Another wet, smooth sensation in his neck. He turned a bit and held his breath.  
  
"Severus?"  
  
"It's me, love."  
  
"Oh my God, I missed you so much! WE missed you!" he threw himself at the other man and began to sob heartbreakingly against Severus chest. The wizard cradled him once more in his arms and rocked him slightly, caressing his back in calming circles, until the sobs ended.  
  
"I missed you, too. I cannot explain how much!"  
  
"You are finally here, here with me.Severus, these letters - tell me you spoke the truth!"  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you, too!"  
  
"Every single word I wrote was the purest truth, I don't know why or how, but I don't want to be without you ever again! I couldn't bear it to leave you again, alone - how are you?"  
  
"Fine, actually very good. We're both healthy and happy, but I missed you terribly."  
  
"I wished I could have been there for you, during this time. If there is anything, anywhere and anytime I can do for you, don't hesitate to tell me at once, promise me that!"  
  
"There is."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Kiss me?"  
  
"Gladly."  
  
Their lips met, fire brushing against fire, flames parting to let eager tongues meet, licking and sucking each other, exploring the long craved territory, begging and giving in tight embrace.  
  
Sirius panted slightly, when Severus pulled back and kissed his way along his jaw line, his earlobe, the sensitive skin under his ear and his neck, kissing, licking, sucking, even biting softly, possessively marking his lover as his. Sirius moaned, when he was silenced by another passionate kiss. He put his arms around Severus' shoulders and pulled him half on top of him, as far as possible with his swollen abdomen, feeling the Potion masters hands roam at the buttons of his nightshirt, flipping them open. He shuddered in excitement, when Severus pinched one of his nipples playfully and bent down, suckling the other one, when he groaned in delight.  
  
"I didn't know that the spell was this complex, my love!" he chuckled and kissed Sirius again, tasting the last drops of the white liquid from his lover, "Breastfeeding then, love."  
  
Sirius moaned passionately, when he felt Severus' mouth on his body, wandering deeper and kissing the stretched skin of his belly and tongue- fucking his navel. Pure heaven!  
  
Severus was on cloud #9 as well, exploring every inch of his lover in slow motions, devouring his excellent taste, that reminded him on nutmeg and cinnamon, mixed with roses and something essential Sirius, that couldn't be replaced by anything in this world.  
  
Oh, how he loved this man. Long month his feelings had been reduced on a few letters, but now he would use the time to make up for it. By any means - he would show his affection in public, he would spent his time with his love, care for him, massage his feet, and kiss them from time to time for his own pleasure, making his lover radiate in pleasure, he vowed that!  
  
Sirius groaned again, demandingly pulling at his lover's robes. Severus quickly let the fabric slip from his shoulders and slide to the floor in a pool of black. He only wore plain, black soft trousers beneath. Sirius had thrown his nightclothes away and graced the view with his natural, naked beauty. Just simply viewing the hand that stroked over the white, flawless skin of his inner thighs made his lover hard as rock and he decided to take thing into his own hands. He caressed his lover's legs from foot to hip, bringing shudders over the pregnant man sprawled on the bed in front of him. He looked at him longingly with undimmed and pure lust sparkling in his eyes.  
  
"Sev, I need you, your hands on me. Not more." he moaned panting, "could hurt the baby."  
  
"Right, love. I will bring you pleasure you have not even dreamed of, I promise, my star[1]!"  
  
AN// [1]= "Sirius" is the name of a very bright star, also called the "Dog- star" 


	10. Outcomes

10 Outcomes  
  
Harry sat on one of the wide windowsills in the Gryffindor seventh-year boys' dormitory, Draco in his lap, snoring softly against his chest. A blanket warmed them in the still cold season, the glass not isolating much of the cold outside.  
  
Draco looked adoringly cute in the dim candlelight, that fell onto is fair hair and face, letting them glow in the flickering gold. Harry sighed and pulled the sleeping Slytherin closer into his arms. He remembered the day well, when somebody had gossiped about Draco being in the hospital wing, because some of his housemates had threatened to kill him in case he didn't support the Dark Lord from then on. Draco had refused and Snape had found him barely in time. The attacking students, Crabbe, Parkinson and McDougal, had been expelled at once.  
  
Harry ran up to the infirmary. Only a week ago they had formed some kind of friendship, but they had quickly advanced to close comrades, even against the many complaints from Ron and Hermione, though Draco had been friendly towards them. This had led to quite a few shouting-matches between Ron and Harry, while Hermione had adapted to the new situation at least as far as to tolerate it without further questions. Ron was still a bit grumpy, but after the incident with the Death Eater kids, he had begun to see the change in Draco.  
  
In the hospital wing, Harry had just ignored Snape, as he told him to leave Mr. Malfoy in peace, and had darted towards his friend. Draco didn't look good at that time, his face heavily bruised and a few ribs cracked. Fortunately Madam Pomfrey could heal those quickly and Draco had left the infirmary the next day under several new precautions:  
  
Dumbledore had transferred his stuff to a separate room in the dungeons, but after some argumentation with both, Draco and Harry, he had selected a small room near the Gryffindor tower with a new connection to the boy's bathroom.  
  
Obviously, the headmaster had also changed Draco's timetable, because now he had all lessons, that had previously been only with Slytherins with the Gryffindors, despite the mixed ones, which he still attended like before.  
  
A few weeks later Harry and Draco had set on the blonde boy's bed and exchanged chocolate-frog cards, when Draco had suddenly taken Harry's hand in his. The cards lay forgotten on the floor and soon they lay down on the cushions, kissing passionately.  
  
Harry thought about the reaction of his friends, expecting at least Ron to be furious, but instead the redhead had told him he had expected it from the view Draco had given him the last days. Harry had never known that Ron's brother Charlie was gay, too. Ron explained, how he had run into him and his Rumanian boyfriend last Yule and Charlie had made him promise not to tell their mother how far their relationship actually went by now.  
  
Hermione didn't take it too well, but after Draco paid her a visit the next day, she was pretty much okay with it. The only rule was that she wanted to be informed of every single detail, in contrast to Ron, who always got pale, when they had started kissing the corridors.  
  
When they had shown their affection in potions, though, Snape had let a vial slip and promptly the whole classroom was filled with smoke from the explosion that followed shortly.  
  
All in all, their coming-out - together - had gone well, expect of an amusing article in the Daily Prophet by Rita Skeeter about Death Eater spawns corrupting the Gay-Boy-who-lived.  
  
A nasty shock had been the second outcome a few weeks later, when Severus Snape, Potions master deluxe, evil bastard of Slytherin and greasy git with now washed hair (!!!), had kissed the pregnant Sirius Black in the middle of the Great hall during breakfast.  
  
Soon the gossip filled the corridors, quickly overcoming the wards of Hogwarts and a day later, another article was published in the newspapers, this time about twisted teachers at Wizarding schools and their potential bad influence on their students.  
  
Harry smiled absentmindedly at his boyfriend, remembering the kisses and hugs they had shared in the past weeks, and lately the first more intimate encounters, though they had never gone beyond waist-level, though he felt ready, Draco didn't. Time would solve that.  
  
  
  
It was dark, when Sirius awoke with a strange feeling. His abdomen cramping up, he cried up in pain. Next to him, Severus shot up at once, looking at his lover questioningly and reacted as soon as he saw the understanding in Sirius' blue eyes. The time had come. 


	11. Little Things

11 Little Things  
  
Alarmed, Severus quickly pulled his robes on and wrapped the covers around Sirius, who groaned in another wave of cramps. He carefully put his arms around his lover's shoulders and under his knees and lifted him up; kicking the doors open and slamming them shot behind them on his way to the infirmary. He was so excited!  
  
Poppy had already sensed the nearing birth through a charm she had put on her patient before to alert her, when the contractions began and had called Albus as well to help her.  
  
The headmaster held the doors open and Severus entered, Sirius panting in his arms. Carefully he laid his charge down on the bed, never letting go of Sirius' hand. His lover groaned, when the water fell and they knew it would only be a matter of hours before their daughter would be born - very long and painful hours for Sirius.  
  
  
  
Sirius sleepily opened one eye. Warily, he looked around, finding Severus sitting next to him on the bed. His lover smiled adoringly and pointed at a crib near them. Sirius sighed. When Poppy had told him they had to make a caesarean, he was afraid that his child might get some damage, but now he was relieved. Everything seemed fine, more than fine!  
  
"Severus?"  
  
"Yeah, love?"  
  
"How is she?"  
  
"Amazing."  
  
"Our daughter.have you thought of a name by the way?"  
  
"I thought you did."  
  
"Well - I did."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Serena."  
  
"That's definitely her."  
  
"Then it's Serena."  
  
Blissfully, he went back to sleep. He was absolutely exhausted after the hours of contractions and the surgery afterwards. His little, precious family could wait a little - for once! 


	12. Epilogue

12 Epilogue  
  
The last NEWT exams had been written this week and the seventh year's had only one more month to go, before they would leave the castle and start their own, new lives.  
  
Draco sighed and cuddled the little girl again. She cooed happily and giggled, when he tickled her belly. Harry smiled at them and gazed back to the door. Severus and Sirius had just left, leaving them in charge o their child this evening to go out to London.  
  
"Dray?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Have you ever thought about what you will do after Hogwarts, except for the study to become a healer?"  
  
"A bit. Why?"  
  
"Do you think we will stay together?"  
  
"I think, I'd like that. I mean, we have nothing to loose, if we stay together."  
  
"How about living together?"  
  
"You mean, in one flat - only we two?"  
  
"Well - yes."  
  
"I'm looking forward to it, love. I always wanted to make love to you in the kitchen!"  
  
"What? Draco!"  
  
"Stop pouting, if you don't like the kitchen, we can do it in the living- room afterwards-"  
  
"DRACO MALFOY, you're insatiable - I love that! Come here, you!"  
  
They kissed, carefully not to smash the baby between them. Serena giggled again and smiled at them with her toothless mouth. They smiled, when Harry looked at Draco.  
  
"What? Why do you look at me so funny?"  
  
"I just thought about having children."  
  
"Oh - OH! Well, I.not now, okay?"  
  
"Surely not! You cannot study pregnant!"  
  
"ME? YOU!"  
  
"I already have a contract with England and Brighton Flashlights, I cannot get pregnant while playing Quidditch!"  
  
"And I can't work, if I am pregnant, so you'll have-"  
  
"Stop yelling, babies like you more and this one will cry, if you don't be quiet now. She'll ruin our ears, you know how she is - only Snape's thump gets her quiet and he's not here!"  
  
"Oh - of course, you're right. It's stupid anyway to argue about that."  
  
"I love you!"  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
"But I want a child, sometime later."  
  
"Me, too. But you'll carry it!"  
  
"You always must have the last word, don't you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
~fin~  
  
Nov. 01 2003 


End file.
